I am starting this blog to talk honestly. To connect. To rise up and actualise my dreams of speaking truth to help normalise the wild and emotional ride of life – and especially that of a woman. It is a platform to find my honesty edge and flex my opinion muscle as a pathway to my podcast. And as I find my voice, there will many ‘fucks’ and capital letters and exclamation marks as I truly let my wild woman loose. Oh and I like to talk. Bottom line; it is my hope that through my truths you may feel a sense of ‘Ohh, me too!’ or ‘I’ve been feeling/questioning that as well’.
But first, an explantation; why the sudden pull to start waving my opinions about online? It appears everywhere I look at the moment, the world needs help. One issue very close to my heart is that of the feminine. We are on the precipice of (if not already in) the third wave feminist movement – another global rise in the collective feminine. Issues with female suppression are surfacing and re-surfacing (uhum abortion rights) all over the world; a problem I feel strongly about. So, a contribution I know I can make is empowering women through talking honestly and sharing ideas and observations. And to support my newfound ranting rights, I found these words by Edwina Johnson on the first page of the Byron Writers Festival program; “Now more than ever our world needs writers, environmentalists, poets, commentators, politicians and artists who together can shape stories of hope, courage and change.”
There’s a quote;
Spoken by a leading feminist of the 1970’s feminist movement, commenting on how the revolution started by simply talking to one another. How powerful is that? That sharing our fears and shames with each other can start a worldwide revolution for change. Woah…! When I heard this for the first time, I KNEW this was my calling – to encourage truth and talking. I wrote it out in big black marker and stuck it on the fridge as it became my motto for life and my standard to live by.
So, some truth from me; I have been too scared to start this blog (or a podcast) because my inner critic has been holding me back with a whole list of reasons why my opinions don’t matter. Like; ‘you have nothing interesting to say’, ‘this is a waste of time’ and my favourite, ‘who do you think you are to speak your opinion if no-one is asking? How arrogant to think you have an opinion worth listening to!’ Nice huh? Sound familiar to you? When it comes to speaking up publicly, these voices (unknowingly to me) have always won over in my life. That was, until I gave birth. Nothing like the all-prevailing power of birthing life to get perspective. All of life’s little worries and concerns disappeared for me after I birthed my little Rainbow – especially caring about what other people may think about me. So, here I am on a truth speaking warpath waving the feminine flag high for all to see the power of Woman. I have witnessed our full force and capacity as humans and whether we birth life or not, that power of love and courage is within all of us. So frankly… WHO AM I NOT TO SPEAK UP? This belief of staying small goes back centuries of female suppression to make pretty and be nice which is no longer relevant in today’s age. My inner critic is outdated and I’ve had enough.
What IS relevant, is the truth of the state of our Earth, our disconnected societies and our governments making serious decisions on behalf of us we do not want and how we are living, not to survive, but to thrive amoungst this mess. Hell, striving to HELP the mess. To be honest I am scared. I am scared that so many powerful people in the world are anti-women’s rights, anti-diversity, ignorant to the longevity of this Earth and ignorant that immigrants need homes and that war and fighting is not the answer. I am scared to write about these things because it may not make a difference and it’s not “pretty” or “positive”. But mostly, I’m scared that if I DON’T speak up and do what I can to speak truth and keep us connected – then I won’t have played my part.
What will I tell my daughter when she asks me what I did in this time of history when abortion rights were being revoked in the U.S? (Not to mention it’s actually still illegal to freely choose to abort in 6 states of Australia!) Or when she asks about the moment the feminine was on the rise again through #metoo movements, protests and women’s circles happening everywhere. Will I tell her “oh I just sat back and liked pictures on social media and hoped for the best.”? Hell no. I will tell her that I joined those circles, that I did my best to speak up and that I fought for the feminine in ways I could. That I encouraged the full, raw, ugly, sensual and vulnerable feminine in all of us in order to keep the torch alight from all the women before me to fight for all the daughters after me. Women are so powerful it’s actually breathtaking and our fiercely creative, loving, nurturing, hell breathing fire to protect our cubs and tribe is something to be in awe of. Us women naturally create connection, that is our gift to the world. So I will tell her that is what I did; connected, shared, spoke truth and fought for the feminine in all of us (men included).
It’s been 3 months since giving birth to my ball of love. She is divine, I’ve never loved another thing in this world as much as my heart melts for hers. And even though she gives my world purpose and passion, it’s not in the way of “ahh this is what I am supposed to do with my life now, I am a Mother, this is it for me”. No. The opposite. Having a child made me want MORE in my life. More realness, from myself and the world around me. I got home from hospital and 3 days after giving birth all I could think was “you need to start a podcast.” All through the night breastfeeding and all day it was “you need to start a podcast”. The call is loud so the time is now.
So, here I am. With you, in your lounge room or your bed or riding the bus with you, sharing my heart, hoping, that this may land somewhere with you. As my blog unfolds further and hopefully into a podcast, I hope you can grab a cuppa and enjoy my words, helping you to feel warm and cosy within yourself knowing you are normal and through that… powerful!
No better time than now for all of us to start sharing our hearts and our minds, our shames and our revelations. No better time than now to get honest and connect with each other rather than retreat.
Okay that’s it from me for now, much to come.
Mama Rainbow x x